Losing someone special

Hey all, this post has a bit of a different feel but to me it's something that I feel that I need to talk about but it's not easy. Emotionally I'm quite a closed person, my best friend is probably the only one who will ever get a phone call from me crying spilling emotions everywhere.

Six months ago this week my life dramatically changed. I lost my role model, the person I respected most in the world and someone who has always been there for me. I lost my beautiful Nana to a stroke which caused a severe brain haemorrhage and 3 days later she left us. I was at her bedside from the moment she went into hospital and I was there when she took her last breath. I was broken. I watched this perfect woman diterate before my eyes so quickly and I honestly didn't know how I would cope in life without her.

My Nana was someone who was always there. At every birthday, Christmas, school holiday, even my nurse when I was poorly at school. You name it she was there. She was only ever at the end of the phone when I just needed to speak to her for any reassurance or just some comfort. I saw her so much she was a staple of my childhood and of me growing up. Over recent years as a teenager I was probably deemed uncool as I'd rather go round to my nanas for a cup of tea than shopping. Or at least I'd rather take my nan food shopping.

My nan was widowed 27 years ago, my Grandad died young from a heart attack. She fought on with her life after losing the only man she ever loved. I never quite understood as I had never lost anyone before, but after 6 months of not having her here I honestly have no idea how she coped. She continued to raise her children and grand-children, the willpower she must have had was extaordinary.  She never moaned about anything and just got on with it and gave us all the love in the world. She had a picture of my Grandad beside her bed and she kissed it every night and would say "miss you, George". We placed this photo in her coffin as we felt it meant great sentiment to her and to us.

I've been lucky enough to have never experienced death before, which is maybe why I've found it so difficult to cope with this. Although I didn't think it could get better, slowly it has. I don't have full understanding about death but I guess not a lot of people do. At first I dreaded everything that would remind me of her, but now I feel happy at memories and not sadness. I can remember all the good times now without feeling like I'm going to start crying and never be able to stop.  Our family support has been amazing. My mum has been a rock and even though she lost her own mum she managed to carry on with life. My mum must get that from my Nana,  strong women must run in my genes eh?
My brother and I held hands throughout her funeral as we were in equal amounts of pain. I've never seen him so upset which was utterly heartbreaking.

As cliche as it sounds it has been my family that has got me through. When I want to talk about nan and remember her I can with my mum, brother, uncle or aunty. My boyfriend and best friend are always there when I need a good cry and both of them have also been through similar experiences. I'm very grateful of that as I know there are so many people who can't have that level of support.
What I've learnt is that talking is key, remembering good times and time will make everything better.
It has given me a different view on life and I know that everything does come to an end so I need to live life to every extent.

If there is one person who is reading this and it helps then I'm happy, support needs to be shared.
Nothing or no one can ever replace someone who you lose. You will never forget them and you will miss them more and more everyday.

This has been hard for me to write and share. If you are going through something  similar I fully sympathise you and send you love.

"There's something about death that's comforting, the thought that you could die tomorrow frees you to appreciate your life now" 

Love you always 

P.s look how beautiful she is

My Top 10 Beauty Products

Hey guys! I've been so busy this week and itching to write a blog post but not having any time to do it has killed me. I'm also super excited as i'm getting my blog designed by the lovely Sarah www.sarahsmilesxxx.co.uk (check her out!).


My holiday is coming up fast and I've been trying to decide what products to take along with me. Whilst having a rummage I was like "well shit, I don't think I could live without some of these".
So me being me, I devised a list of my Top 10 beauty products of current. Enjoy!



1. Body Shop Body Butter in Raspberry

I'm pretty sure everyone has once owned or currently have a Body Shop body butter, and who can blame them cause they're in my opinion the best body butter out there. I have really dry and sensitive skin and these never irritate me. The Raspberry one has come to be my favourite scent as its so good! I'm rubbish at describing smells but this one smells like raspberry fromage frais. Yummy.
I'm not sure if they sell it anymore as I bought it just before Christmas but I 100% recommend these butters for soft, amazing smelling skin. They also last for such a long time as you really don't need to use a lot.

2. The Body Shop Camomile Cleansing Butter

This stuff is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. It smells good, it takes all of your makeup of clean and leaves your skin feeling so soft. It comes in a solid form but it seems to melt at skin temperature so when you rub it in it goes to an oily consistency and swoops all of your makeup off. Wipe it away with a flannel with warm water and boom, your skin is clean. I really would recommend this product to anyone. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to wiping my makeup off at night and even this isn't too much effort for me to handle. It's only £12 and it lasts ages. I use this pretty much every day and you can see by the picture below its barely made a dent in it. Try it out guys!

3. Lush Tea Tree Toner Water

 This stuff was sent from the Gods. Whenever I have a breakout this is the first thing I will grab. It brightens up any dull skin and will get rid of spots at the same time. I just spray my face with this after a shower and it will keep my skin looking alive, which can only be a good thing. I get the 100g bottle and it lasts me for around 8 weeks give or take. It's only £4.25 so not much more than what you'd pay for a toner in Boots or something. Lush have got lots of other tea tree products which I will be checking out next time I'm in store.

4. Lush Catastrophe Cosmetic Fresh Face Mask

Whilst i'm on a skin care roll I thought i'd go on with this bad boy. This in my opinion is the best Lush face mask. It clears my skin so good its hard to try anything else now as this works so good on my skin. It smells like blueberries and has a blue tinge to it so you do look a bit smurf-esque when you wear it. The only problem is that its always the one that's sold out in store so it seems that lots of people share my opinion on this product. What I love about Lush products is that they are all made naturally and have fresh ingredients and you can really tell the difference between these and the ones that come in a sachet! Also you get a free mask when you re-cycle these pots in store when you collect 5. It's such a good idea. It is priced at £6.50 for 75g which I think its definitely worth the money. 

                                      

5. Mac Matte Lipstick in "Velvet Teddy"

It was really hard for me to pick a favourite lipstick but this one at the moment wins it for me. I waited sooo long (okay about a month) for this product to be back in stock. When I got an email from Mac telling me it was back in stock I bought it straight away.It's such a gorgeous neutral shade and goes so well with many makeup looks. Mac lipsticks stay on so well and they're worth the money if you love good lipsticks. The last time I checked it was out of stock again but keep an eye out for this beauty! 

6. Rimmel Kate Moss Lipstick in 107

Okay, I know I said that Velvet Teddy was my favourite lipstick but as I was sorting through I found 4 empty tubes of this lipstick. I didn't know I has used that many and I should have just binned them. I guess it says that I use this lipstick ALOT. Its my go to red lipstick and it stays on really well. I get lots of compliments when I wear this (oo-er). Its so cheap, I think its around the £4 mark in Boots but once again its normally the shade that they have sold out of. I don't own any of the other lipsticks in the Kate Moss range but I think i'm going to have a ganders when i'm next shopping. 

7. Urban Decay Naked 2 Palette

I've not had this palette for long but I went with hype and bought it and my God, i'm in love with it. It is such a beautiful palette and I get excited in the morning that I can use it. It is a pricey buy as its £37 at most retailers but it should last a long time and i'm really impressed so far with the results. Even the brush that comes with it is of great quality and its really soft. The eye shadows are really pigmented and stay on for a long time. I think that half baked is the new love of my life.

I also purchased the Naked 3 palette that has more pink shades in it and is also beautiful but I feel myself going to this palette more for the taupe shades. Recommend!!

 Ooooh so pretty

8. Aussie Miracle Recharge Moisture Spray 

Aussie products are the best. I use the miracle moisture shampoo and conditioner along side with this spray. This spray is so good when you're on holiday for when you come out the sea and the pool to stop your hair getting super crispy. I will be taking a bottle of this to Florida. It smells so good, almost like sweets. Next time you see this just give it a smell and see for yourself! I normally pick up Aussie products when they're on offer for 3 for £10 but normally they range at around £3.50. 

As I have long hair keeps it nourished and full of moisture so if you have long hair and struggle with dry ends this could be the remedy you need.

                                                                  

9. Rimmel Wake Me Up Concealer in "Ivory"

I recently had to change concealer as the one I used before made my skin super dry so I needed a quick fix. I picked up Rimmel Wake Me Up concealer after I watched one of Tanya Burr's videos and thought i'd give it a go. Woah, what a good decision. Its a really light concealer and covers up any redness an under eye problems (my under eyes are so dark some mornings I look like I have been punched in the face). Its really cheap, I think I picked it up for around £5? Boots had a 3 for 2 offer so it worked out really good value. I'm on my second tube now and probably will stay using this product for a while now. 

10. Marc Jacobs Daisy Dream EDT 50ml

I got this for Christmas from my lovely boyfriend and considering I asked for Jimmy Choo, I was surprised when I opened this. I used to wear Daisy a few years ago and went off it but Daisy Dream is so fresh and sweet. Firstly the packaging and bottle is so gorgeous and I absolutely love the daisies around the bottle. Secondly, the scent lasts all day and you rarely need to top up. So many people have complimented this perfume. Boy did good. 

As it was a present i'm not sure how much it was but online it varies around the £40 mark which is pretty standard for a Marc Jacobs perfume. I think I might just pick up another bottle of this from Duty Free!

So there are my Top 10 favourite beauty products at the moment. I hope that you enjoyed this post and will go an try some of these products and please let me know what you think! Or if you have any good alternatives for any of the products mentioned then again please let me know in the comments!

Love Beth x

My favourite place ... Walt Disney World

This might sound like a task your primary school teacher may set you along the lines of "what's your favourite holiday" but I'm actually going to go somewhere with this so bear with me.

Growing up Disney films were a big part of my childhood. As a family we had all of the videos (yes, old school I know), had all the toys and were just generally obsessed.  There is even a picture of me and my brother where we are about 2 and 6 maybe? And we are both wearing The Lion King pyjamas with the Lion King on in the background whilst holding Timone and Pumba toys.
We had visited Disneyland Paris twice and I have such great memories from those trips. Although it's fantastic there, just nothing compares to Disneyworld Resort in Florida.

I'm off to Orlando in a matter of days (34 days to be precise) so I thought it would be nice to share my previous Disneyworld experiences whilst I'm jigging about in excitement about my upcoming visit.

I first when to Disneyworld at the age of 6 and I don't remember all that much as I was quite young apart from I remember the plane journey as I felt that it went on for a complete eternity. No matter how many colouring activity packs your mum buys you, it would not entertain a small child for 8 and 1/2 hours.  We stayed in a Disney hotel and I remember there being a jungle motif on the bedroom wall which was awesome. Everything was so new and exciting and of course it's a child's dream to visit!
Watching the Fantasmic! Show is a really vivid memory as I can remember being completely amazed. Eating churros for the first time and watching the parades. Oh the parades. Meeting the characters who were my heros and having them sign my little autograph books felt like winning a trophy and something that I have and will always treasure. They make you feel like they have come out only to see you which is enough to make any child feel special.

4 years later I was lucky enough to be able to go again. Even though I was 10 and my brother was 14 we could still feel the magic of everything around us.  At this age I could properly take in everything around me like even be music at the entrance to Magic Kingdom, the rides and the indescribable    atmosphere. I'd been to Alton Towers and Drayton Manor but they didn't even have remotely the amount of  atmosphere.
As Disneyworld has the four separate parks it gives such a good diversity of themes and rides and it gives you enough to keep you thrilled to keep coming back. Magic Kingdom is literally like a childs dream with Cinderella's Castle and all of your favourite disney characters coming out for the parades.
Hollywood Studios is full of excitement and is my favourite park.

I returned again in 2013 and once again had an amazing time. Unfortunately my boyfriend couldn't attend that holiday I was a bit of a 5th wheel.
Buuuut he is coming with me this time and it's just me and him for 3 whole weeks and we plan to do the Disney Parks in the first week and a half or so. As Luke has never been to Florida I'm really hoping he feels all the excitement that I felt as a child (and 20 year old...) and can take everything in. As we are also big Marvel and Harry Potter nerds we will be able to enjoy Universal Studios just as much together too.

It really is a phenomenal place and it's somewhere I cannot wait to take my children to be able to share with them the wonders of Disney and for them to create their own happy memories.

Walt Disney Sir, you are a genius.

Please comment below and share any memories or if you too are counting down to visit the happiest place on earth!
Or just comment about anywhere which is your favourite place to visit I would love to hear them :)



Love Beth x

To get the ball rolling... 25 facts about me tag!

I haven't actually been tagged but hey ho let's go.
If anyone is like me and likes to be nice and nosey if what people put for their facts then hopefully you will like this post.
I'm a bit tired tonight and have a bit of a headache so I'm using the set tag questions that I found on the good old internet.
So let's begin!

What is your middle name? Jade. Until I was about 7 I thought it was Jane. Don't know why, I must have been a pretty simple child. 

What was favourite subject at school? Art. I'm actually ok at it too.

What is your favourite drink? Jack Daniels and coke, or a sensible drink I love minute maid fruit punch. It's hard to come across in the UK but it's my absolute favourite. 

What is your favourite song at the moment?  Olly Murs- Wrapped Up. It's far too catchy. 

What is your favourite food? I love a good roast dinner. Who doesn't? 

What is the last thing you bought? Food shop today at Sainsbury's. 

Favourite book of all time? The Harry Potter series. 

Favourite Colour? Navy blue. 

Do you have any pets? Too many. 2 rabbits, 2 dogs and 2 cats. Yikes. 

Favourite Perfume? Jimmy Choo

Favourite Holiday? The first time I ever went to Florida when I was 6. 

Are you married? Nope. 

Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times? Actually can't count. At least 25? 

Do you speak any other languages?  A little bit of French. 

How many siblings do you have? One lovely brother :)

What is your favourite shop? Is it very sad to say Sainsburys? 

Favourite restaurant? At the minute I love the chain Chimichanga. We've recently had one built in my hometown and the food is delicious. 

When was the last time you cried? Yesterday when I watched Mrs Doubtfire. It's so sad!

Favourite Blog? I'm not massive on the bloggers as yet but I watch SprinkleofGlitter, Tanya Burr, and TheTimTracker on YouTube. 

Favourite Movie? Beauty and the Beast. 

Favourite TV show? The Great British Bake Off. Paul Hollywood 😍

PC or Mac? PC

What phone do you have? iPhone 5c in blue. 

How tall are you? 5ft 9. Giant. 

Can you cook? Yes. It's one of my favourite things to do in the world. I make a mean cake. 


So that is my 25 facts about me post! I hope you enjoyed being all nosey! 

Love Beth x

My first ever post...

So, now it's 2015 I thought it was time to suck it up and just do what I've wanted to do for a while now. All in all 2014 was the worst year of my life so now I feel I need to do what I want to do and bugger what anyone else thinks!

What I've wanted to do for a few years now is to create a blog. Just something small for me to channel my interests and have the ability to talk to other people who share the same passion. That's quite rare for me as people have always probably thought I was a bit "strange" as I wasn't all too fussed in what everyone else was doing and did my own thing.  As my work schedule is a bit mental I find it hard to be able to go out with friends like what normal people do on weekends so end up feeling pretty lonely and in all honesty it's not the best feeling...

Over a year ago I started to watch vloggers on YouTube I thought it was brilliant. The community and the support is unthinkable. I feel like I know these people as they share so much of their lives with people and that is so admirable. Vlogging is something that I'd love to do but I would probably poo myself a little bit if I did that right now. But you know, baby steps and all that.

I'll probably end up blogging about weird and random things that won't fit a particular schedule I guess as my work life is crazy.

Anyway, thank you for reading. I will be back.

Love Beth x